Okay, for real...two posts in one day?

I'm letting you know that the "Cash for Clunkers" program was a ridiculous waste of time and money.

The reason?

My dear husband, George, has been looking for months, literally months, for a $5000 vehicle to replace his HONDA. The HONDA is an absolutely wonderful car, but it's just a tiny bit too small. He coaches 2 baseball teams (head coach for Jake and assistant for Zac) and has a ton of gear to carry around; he, of course, is a youth minister and has to haul around stuff for work like sound equipment, camping gear, people, groceries from Sam's, and a miriad other things.

Like I said, he's been looking for MONTHS for a larger vehicle: Ford Escape, Ford Expedition, Ford Explorer, Chevrolet Blazer, Hyundai SUV, Toyota SUV. All of these particular vehicles could be bought a year ago for $5000.

Because of CfC, there are none left. The people who buy these vehicles and trade them after 3, 4 or 5 years on something new, cashed in on the GOVERNMENT PROGRAM and took these vehicles out of the Used Car loop.

Certainly, we can't be the only ones experiencing this problem?

Unintended Concequences...

Blinded By the Light

I just dropped and broke a compact fluoroescent light bulb...

WHAT DO I DO?????!!!!!!

Do I call the EPA? President Obama? Ghost Busters?

I swept it up and threw it away.

Cover Me

George and the kids were home today for the Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. federal holiday. Around here we don't get Presidents Day, but by Jeebus, we will celebrate the Doctor. Don't get me started.

Anyway, in the spirit of President Obama's mandate to make this day a day of service, my people served me quite well.

They cleaned off the car port. Now I can park my Suburban under cover.

Doesn't it look nice?

Face Down

Remember this guy? Yeah, the jack ass she threw out? I don't remember if I told you that she finally threw him out. It was wonderful for about 6, maybe 8 weeks. Just her and the girls. She came out and visited, the girls came over to play, sans the WILD little "step-brother" who is always hungry and wants you to feed him.

Well, he was living with his mother somewhere on the west side of THE river and SHE (his mother) THREW HIM OUT!! He came back to M's house looking to just crash on the sofa for a couple of days until he could figure everything else out. You know how the rest of it goes. He was, obviously, irresistible. What, with the belittling, and the verbal abuse, not to mention the physical abuse. What's not to love? So, now he's back...with the crazy little boy.

I tell you all of this to tell you this story...

Tuesday evening while the boys and George were at practice, I went to Wal Mart. I haven't been shopping in WEEKS and the pantry was down to pretty much corn starch and brown sugar. Now, I'm a pretty creative cook, but I need a little more than that.

So anyway, I was at Wal Mart. I had just gotten there and had 2 things in my basket, hairspray and a pack of razors, when my phone rang. It was an operator from ADT Security. (We got an alarm system about 2 1/2 months ago--best money ever spent.) He said that the burglar alarm was going off and did I want him to dispatch the police? I was so surprised that I told him I didn't know, and what do people usually do in this situation? He said, "It's up to you Mrs. Ragsdale," probably choking back a laugh at my idiotic question. I said sure, go ahead. He turned off the alarm, dispatched the police and asked me about how long until I got home. Zachary's a pretty small town, so I was only about 5, maybe 7 minutes from home. I beat the police home.

Now, let me tell you this. Shredder was in the house, so I had the alarm set for "stay" so he wouldn't set off the motion detector. I left the back door unlocked because I wasn't sure if George had his house key. The gate across the driveway was closed and all of the gates around the backyard were closed. When the alarm is set and you come in, there is a 45 second warning beep before ADT is notified and the big alarm goes off.

When I got home, the back door was ajar and every light in the house was on. Luckily, Shredder was still inside. When I leave Shredder in the house, I close all of the doors to the bedrooms and bathroom so we don't get any surprises on the carpet (We've thrown away the living room rug. It was beyond cleaning. It was also over 10 years old, believe it or not.). I wasn't afraid to go in the house because I'd figured out what happened while I was on my way home.

I went around and turned off all the lights and looked around. Everything was fine. Still no police.

I went to the backyard and could hear the backyard neighbors (whom we really like) outside and could see the jackass with them. I opened our back gate (which we put in when we replaced the fence after Hurricane Gustav so the kids could get to the block behind us without going around the block. Perhaps you remember that we live on a pretty busy street?) I was a little more than perturbed when I asked them if they heard the alarm going off. The neighbors (whom we like) both shrunk up like little children in trouble and said they didn't hear anything. The jackass said that Ethan (hell child)went over and knocked on our back door but came back because no one was home. I, of course, went high and to the right and said that the police were on their way because our burglar alarm alerted the ADT people who then dispatched the police.

I, then, waited for the police. When the cruiser finally arrived, I told him that the back neighbor set off the alarm and everything was okay. In the mean-time, hell child came back to jackass to talk to him. My other neighbor (whom I like) asked hell child if he opened our back door. He said yes. It was only then that jackass acknowledged that there was something to say to his boy.

***Aside. The boy was in our house for at least 45 seconds; probably longer. He had enough time to turn on every light in the house!!! Close aside.***

OKAY...Now skip to Tuesday. (I began this post on Monday, immediately after all of this. Tuesday just piles it on. I'm finally pulling it all together on Wednesday.)

George and the boys are at practice. Jackass finds George at the ballpark (because his "step" daughter is playing softball) and tells him that I was incredibly rude to him and he didn't appreciate it. George, being the consummate gentleman and situation smoother, said that his wife does have a temper (he's walking on shaky ground here) and she was scared and nervous that she was called from shopping to attend to a potential burglary call at her home.

George came home from practice to tell me that jackass found him at the ballpark to tell him all of this. His solution is to not invite the (diagonal) back neighbors over and place a lock on our back gate. That's fine with me. My attitude is...if he wants to belittle or abuse a woman, I'm there. I will take him on. I'm taller and bigger than him. I can (will) take him.

George reminded me this morning when I dropped him off at the church, for the first of his several youth trips this summer, not to engage the neighbor. Before you all go crazy; I know, I will not engage this crazy man! I just know that he's a loser, but I'm not afraid.

99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall

Now that we've practiced counting to ten...

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN???????????



I always thought it meant that if you had 10 items or less, you may proceed through the line. Obviously, I was wrong tonight.

I, blissfully, got in the ten items line. I had 2 boxes of Kleenex, 2 packages of toilet paper, 1-12 pack of Caffeine Free Diet Coke, and 1-750 ml of Myers's Rum. Let's count, together, how many items that is: 2, 4, 5, 6.

The two ladies in front of me had WWWWWAAAAAYYYYY more than 10 items. In fact, the first lady wound up with 3 completely full, large bags of clothes; one piece she wound up having to go back into the clothing area to get another so the original could be scanned. The second lady had a complete basket-full of groceries. $146.38 to be exact. AND, knowing full well that she had more than 10 items, she picked up 2 bags of chips and a Sprite from the fridge!

You might ask why I didn't move lanes. You know darn well as I, that if I moved lanes, I'd get stuck and my original lane would've wound up moving along. So I just stayed there. By the time I checked out, there were at least 5 people stacked up behind me...with less than 10 items each.

Whatever. Just one more reason why I HATE Wal Mart. You know, I'm all for saving money. I'm all for a corporation making money. It's not that. Why, oh why, do they have express lanes?

What in the world am I supposed to do?

The kids were at the back door neighbor's house playing (yes, that one) when Zac called to see if it was okay if they all came over to play here. I said sure. What I didn't know was that I was baby sitting.

They have two girls (hers) and a boy (HIS). The girls are really sweet, but that boy totally makes me appreciate my two boys. I don't really think he fully computes when you speak to him.

At any rate, the mom and dad went to Home Depot, I think. I'm supposed to leave at 4:00 for church and they're not home yet!

They've been here about an hour and a half and have eaten all of my bread. I made PB&J because everyone was hungry (the boy demanded something to eat). Oh yeah, the dog, Ginger, is also in my back yard (Buddy is in his kennel in my room) because she kept getting out of their yard. She was going out of her mind with the kids over here playing.

Another day in paradise. Four minutes and counting.

**EDIT**Oh, one more thing. Neither parent is answering their phone.

I don't even know how to title this

I don't care who you think you are, but the man IS the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES for cryin' out loud!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Put on your government-issued big girl panties, stand with him and be nice!!!!!!!!! .

Stupid, Stupid, Stupid.

Watch this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SybaqYOwzxc&eurl=http://wjbo.com/pages/mattkennedy1.html

You probably have to cut and paste the link into your address bar.

I became "that" parent yesterday

(Warning...VERY LONG READING.)

So far, this school year, I've done my duty to pick up my children on time after school. Zac usually rides the bus home, but after school practice keeps him there until 3:45. Jake gets out at 3:35, and I pick him up since we only live 2 miles from the school. His bus ride is an hour. I have no intention of having him on the bus for an hour to go 2 miles.

The deal is that EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. this school year that I've waited the line to pick up Jake, I'm in line until 3:55 and receiving a call from Zac's coach wondering if I intend to pick up the boy, to which I reply that I'm still waiting in the elementary school line after 20 or more minutes. So...yesterday, I picked up Zac first at 3:45 and then went to get Jake at 3:50.

Jake was back inside the building in after-care.

I thought the top of my head might explode.

I hunted him down in the building asking everyone where the after-care was located. I was directed all the way down the hall to a breeze-way between 2 buildings where another quasi-teacher-type of person with a mouthful of Cheetos said, "They's down the hall in Mrs. So and So's computer lab." Thank you, Louisiana for teaching proper grammar and speech so that our state can continue its tradition of ignorance. I digress...

I found Jake in the lab where the teacher was just checking him in. I got there and he met me in the hall where we began to walk to the front entrance of the building. Mrs. So and So followed me into the hall to inform me that there was a $5 charge for after-care. I don't think there is a prima ballerina on the planet who can spin around faster than I did at that moment. I told her that I had no intention whatsoever of paying the fee for after-care. She tried to push the issue with me, so I repeated myself. She said that was fine, I would have to speak with Mrs. D, the principal.

I went up to the reception desk, sent Jake out to the car with George and Zac, and the receptionist proceeded, then to whip out her copy of the school handbook with the after-care policy highlighted, and then remind me that I signed the receipt that I had read and accepted the school policy at the beginning of the year. Well of course, I read the policy and signed the receipt, but tell me how from their bully pulpit am I supposed to do anything but accept the policy? I digress...

Mrs. D made it out to discuss the issue with me. I told her I had absolutely no intention of paying the $5 for after-care. She said that was fine, it could just go on our school tab. I said no. There will be no tab, you will not withhold my child's report card, yearbook, spirit clothes, or field trip over this. I will not pay the $5.

I could feel the gray-matter boiling.

I asked her several questions about how this situation should be handled. How for the previous 40 or 50 days of school I've waited in the pick up line until 3:55 or later, but the ONE DAY I'm here at 3:50, my child is gone to after-care? She attempted to show me the highlighted portion of the handbook. I told her I KNOW the policy. She informed me that the school district provides bus service for all its students. I repeated my sentiment about the bus I mentioned at the beginning of this post. She sympathized.

At any rate, I reminded her that I am not a repeat late offender and I'd be happy to pay if this was a continuing problem. She stopped me with "that's how we'll resolve this. We'll waive the fee this time, but if it happens again, there will be a fee." In Mrs. D's defense, she was the absolute picture of professionalism, she used her condescending "I'm talking to a crazy mother" professional voice.

So, today, I was in line at 3:30 to pick up Jake. I didn't get to the front of the line to pick up Jake until 3:45 (when the policy manual says all children will be taken to after-care). There were still at least 20 cars behind me and when I went back by the school at 4:00, the left-over students were just then headed in for after-care.

I think Mrs. D let the kids out early yesterday.